HenWrangler

lovely hens, so let’s say you meet a little rooster, he’s cool, you like him and possibly willing to allow him to ruffle your feathers. eventually, the topic of your sexual history, or mounting history as i like to call it, will come up. i mean, after all, doing the nasty-mount is pretty much a dirty exchange of all kinds of nastiness (hrrrrmmmm), so it’s a topic that comes with the wrangling scene. in truth, you don’t want to be passing around unwanted guests or catching a permanent case of  the sea-monkeys. as i like to say, a safe wrangle is a mount without mangle.

when the topic does come up, and if you are asked how many roosters you have mounted, hens be warned, a rooster should never ask a hen that question. it’s cool and responsible to make sure the undercarriage checks-out and screams healthy, but beyond that, it usually means trouble. a good rooster takes you as is, and not as then. so as soon as they ask, my advice is to fly away quickly.

here’s why. typically, these roosters tend to be controlling, extremely jealous and lack a bundle of feathers with self-esteem. these are the same guys who will shower you with flowers, always call you “beautiful,” and more than likely buy you a teddy bear sporting a gold necklace with a heart-shaped charm, all in a span of  two weeks of meeting you. fly, i say, fly.

oh, and by the way, just in case you’re curious, if you ask me how many hens i’ve mounted, i’m always going to say, “five.” i simply don’t know, or care to know, what comes after five.

HW