HenWrangler

HAPPY NEW YEAR, MY DEAREST HENS!

i know it’s been awhile, but such is the way the feathers float. with the many false cockternity accusations, hen-stalking and restraining orders, it’s been a busy last few months for me. some of you hens are beyond repair, and should really just stay in the coop and brood. there is no need  to spread the crazy. don’t get me wrong, crazy is good. just keep it at a level that doesn’t require a straight jacket, hen-baby drama or involve knives. now, for the hens who are more open to suggestions, and whose down is as soft as their hearts, my words are for you.

as we start the new year, the hen-trend is to over indulge in resolutions. right? and it usually goes something like this, “i’m going to lose weight—i’m not going be so slutty this year—i’m eating healthier–i’m not dating losers anymore.” blah, blah, blah… well, in the spirit of resolutions, i’ll share my top five with you.

HENWRANGLER’S NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

• eat more chicken pie (i hear it’s healthier and good for sinus congestion)
• stuff and mount more hens (break last year’s taxidermy record)
• peck more, bite less (i’m a passionate rooster, and sometimes, i leave marks)
• more chicken fingers (yeah, not the food)
• kick them out at 9 a.m. instead of 10 a.m. (a lapsed on my part in 2011)

so, there you go. like me, set attainable goals and things will be just fine. and remember, expectations are follies made of mind.

i’ll leave you lovely hens with those thoughts. until next time.

HW