HenWrangler

dear hen baby buhtins,

thanks for your submission. first off, using the word skank-hen is a bit, well, unnecessary. just because this hen likes to throw her wooly-hen parts around doesn’t make her a skank—wait, using the word wooly nowadays, isn’t quite correct. i tend to forget this is not the 80s anymore. in today’s hen market, it’s more like powder-hen parts, smooth as ski slopes—she just likes to express herself more than most hens. there is nothing wrong with that.

now to answer your question. of course it’s okay for her to try to steal your boyfriend. simply put, it’s the best litmus test there is when it comes to a relationship. you’ll find out quickly whether your beloved rooster-boyfriend  can holdup to his end of the bargain. you know, be loyal and walk the talk that allowed him an all-access pass to your hentastic parts.

if you have a good rooster, this situation will be nonissue. on the other hand, if you’re dealing with an insecure and unsure capon, and acts upon the proposition, your relationship will become that much clearer; and that’s a good thing. sure, the fact that your best friend or stripper neighbor, or whomever the case may be, committed a robbery, it sucks. no one likes rejection at that level, but such is coop life. ultimately, they are doing you a huge favor. you can’t hate on a single-hen for being a single-hen. you should thank them.

you see, your relationship isn’t with the single-hen, it’s with your rooster. the hen owes you nothing. it’s the rooster who should be blamed and shunned. after all, he was the one who promised you the world, pledged his monogamy and the happily-ever-after song and dance. right?

as with any hen with commonsense, you know the intent of any rooster is to have a go at them hentastic parts. that’s the nature of things. the problem is, once you hens allow a rooster full access, many of you consider him property. that’s always a mistake. so naturally, our reaction to someone who takes something we think belongs to us is often not a nice one. it usually conjures up violent thoughts of de-feathering and dismemberment towards that person. and some of you, actually act on it and go hen-crazy. no one likes a hen-crazy hen. besides, all that violence and hate doesn’t change the fact your rooster was out there using someone else’s sharpener to sharpen his rooster-pencil.

the thing is, your boyfriend is not your property. if you accept that as such, you’ll be less disappointed or hurt. they have choices just like you do. only you belong to you, and actions are absolutes that hold truths.

HW