HenWrangler

if you’re a hen who is always asking yourself why you can’t find a rooster to stick around to find crickets for you, listen up.

it’s not because you’re slutty, do things other hens won’t, have daddy issues (my faaaaavorite), or busy knitting sweaters for underprivileged chicks. on the contrary, the reason is, because there is a good chance, you don’t have a hobby. that’s right, it’s that simple. a hen without a hobby is like a puppy dog, always following you around and begging for attention. for a rooster, this is the worst type of hen. there is no bigger turn-off than having a hen bored out-of-her-mind, constantly worrying about where her feather friend is at, blowing-up  his cellphone or sitting on the couch whining about work and all its drama. if this is you, STOP now. ask yourself what motivates you, and this in turn, may help you find your passion.

now in your pursuit of this feather-passion discovery, any hobby is good, whether it’s knitting, stamp collecting, cooking, painting, reading, volunteering or scrapbooking—wait, i take scrapbooking back. that just screams VIRGIN, and that’s the second worst type of hen. seriously, nowadays, no one wants to mount a virgin. that is just asking for trouble. that’s like putting your clothes in the dryer without one of them static cling sheets. the result, clingy as shit. no self-respecting rooster will put up with that, unless his willing to marry her on the spot.

anyway, simple i say. find yourself a hobby and make yourself available in moderation. let the chase come to you, not the other way around. passion creates instances of happiness, self-awareness and validity. embrace it and continue to share it with others. if you’re a hen who confuses passion with putting a live rabbit in a pot of boiling water to prove you’re dedicated to a cause, there is no hope for you. you’re just plain fucking crazy.

HW